KEEPING THE FAITH

After years of spiritual and emotional abuse, it is easy to become bitter and cynical. I find myself in that mindset every now and then. I have to remind myself, it is not the fault of God that men and women often make bad choices.  I cannot control other people's minds anymore than they can control mine.

I have decided to be grateful for the things I have now and to stop empowering the negativity that so easily follows me about, trying to grasp a hold of my spirit. The more I think of those negative things that are now in the past, the more power I allow them to take in my life. I think that is why the Bible teaches us to control what kind of thoughts we allow to take hold: "Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."
(Php 4:6-8)


I have read some blogs by women that have come out of terribly abusive churches and they have steered so far out - away from God that they have lost the compass that points to the Christ who gives us life.

Believe me, I tried to go back to a church, any church that seemed to follow the same beliefs I had as part of my cultic past. It was as if God himself took apart my desires and turned my feelings inside out.

I broke away from the teachings of man more and more and thanked my Lord for showing me what direction I am to follow. God has taken away bitterness and put in discernment. I pick my battles carefully and think about what I should say or if I should even say anything.
"Behold also the ships, which though they be so great, and are driven of fierce winds, yet are they turned about with a very small helm, whithersoever the governor listeth. Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth! And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell. For every kind of beasts, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea, is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind: But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison."
(Jas 3:4-8)

I have learned to be humble. I learned through my past associations that I can be fooled and so I need to be careful and offer up prayers for good decision-making.

I have also been blessed with a soul-mate who discusses the Bible with me and holds up our ideas before scripture to see if they are worthy of following.
To me, there is no greater form of worship than to offer myself to the Lord everyday and allow Him to steer me in the right direction. I want him to use me and I know if I continue to follow Him he will heal me and help me recover.

You can lose faith in people. We are finite and sinful, full of weaknesses and inconsistency, however, let us hold on to the One who can heal us and bring us back into our right mind.