The cowardice and narcissistic approach taken by the twisted man who was once a husband and father to my children, is still something that I have trouble setting aside.
I was at a meeting for people who are in different stages of psychological rehabilitation. Many of the members have stories that are just as awful as mine or sad to say, worse. We are all trying to learn from each other and to speak about the experiences that have so marked us in life. Someone brought up the subject of forgiveness, loving your enemies and showing compassion even if the person who wronged you is unrepentent.
I listen to people that say these things with the knowledge that more than likely, they were never raped or had their children molested. Perhaps, mental abuse was never in their life, so to them, speaking on the subject of forgiveness seems so easy. I am not criticizing....but trying to understand.
Yet there is another side. The Lord himself tells us we must come to Him in repentence in order to be forgiven. We must admit our sinfulness and ask Him for mercy. Then and only then, can the Lord shape us into a useful vessel.
If I am to follow Christ, whether I am willing to forgive someone who abused my children and me, there can be no true change of heart or mind for the offender unless he is made to know and feel the damge he has inflicted. It is because of the offender's indifference, his lack of caring, his fear of being brought out as the guilty one that I cannot yet forgive him. I cannot merely sweep under the rug the awful things he had put my children through. Such an act would be acceptance of the offense and so very unfair to myself and to my children.
No, I do not hate the man....and I don't have to allow bygones to be bygones.
I was at a meeting for people who are in different stages of psychological rehabilitation. Many of the members have stories that are just as awful as mine or sad to say, worse. We are all trying to learn from each other and to speak about the experiences that have so marked us in life. Someone brought up the subject of forgiveness, loving your enemies and showing compassion even if the person who wronged you is unrepentent.
I listen to people that say these things with the knowledge that more than likely, they were never raped or had their children molested. Perhaps, mental abuse was never in their life, so to them, speaking on the subject of forgiveness seems so easy. I am not criticizing....but trying to understand.
Yet there is another side. The Lord himself tells us we must come to Him in repentence in order to be forgiven. We must admit our sinfulness and ask Him for mercy. Then and only then, can the Lord shape us into a useful vessel.
If I am to follow Christ, whether I am willing to forgive someone who abused my children and me, there can be no true change of heart or mind for the offender unless he is made to know and feel the damge he has inflicted. It is because of the offender's indifference, his lack of caring, his fear of being brought out as the guilty one that I cannot yet forgive him. I cannot merely sweep under the rug the awful things he had put my children through. Such an act would be acceptance of the offense and so very unfair to myself and to my children.
No, I do not hate the man....and I don't have to allow bygones to be bygones.
