Fear=Anxiety=Disorders

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I am no expert on mental health by any means.  I have had to fight against depression and anxiety disorders for most of my life. I am not about to tell you 'what works'...there is no silver bullet. I can tell you though what helps me and share it .

One of the darkest times of my life was when my children were taken away for almost a year (see my early posts for the whole story.) I had never felt so despondent, so uncertain in all my life. I was almost paralyzed at times with fear and depression. Had it not been for my soul-mate keeping me going through those days, who knows how far I would have gone to get away from the pain?

When I came to the end of my rope and had to face the fears I had....(which were many!) I had to be bold and say to myself, "What is truly the worst case scenario in my situation?" I had to allow myself to face the darkness but to face it in REALITY. This was not what I thought could happen, but  realistically, what the judges, DCF workers, cops, etc. could do in our situation. I had to realize that although the chances of my never having custody of my kids again was slim, the chance was there. 

Could I face it? Could I let go of the fear and be open to whatever came to me?
YES! I had a talk with God driving home one night. I said," Lord, I love my kids and want them home but, if it's your will that they will remain away from me, help me to face it and go on. Help me to let go of my fears and allow you to rule in my affairs." I made a conscious effort from that time forward to remember my prayer and fight the demons causing me to think negatively as those hopeless thoughts came up. It was just like visualizing a balloon that symbolized my fears and I let it fly away.

The Lord was gracious. My children were returned and my fears were faced and I was able to let them go.
Am I 100% well? No...I bear emotional scars of a hard life but, I can now count the blessings I have.
Sometimes, you have to cross over that dark, menacing path to get to the sunshine..