Ignorance Is NOT Bliss

Ignorance is a creeping disease, especially if it is steeped in a lie.
Case in point....the professor in my comparative religion class is enthralled with the idea of 'out of body' experiences, near death experiences and the 'ancient wisdom religions.'  Upon listening to his lectures and anecdotes, one would think that there are no bad religions...that even the idolater has a shot at heaven.

Now, I am not by any means an expert in all faiths...but I do know a bit about the ancient wisdom religions. Those people thought nothing of sacrificing their own babies to Molech. They worshiped Ba'al and a host of other Luciferian religions.There was nothing righteous about their sacrifices. There was nothing fruitful.

My professor is also quite interested in sacred geometry-shades of Freemasonry-which is yet another offshoot of Ba'al worship. 

I wouldn't have a problem really if the man presented just the facts. However, there is a problem when an educator is not simply presenting each faith for what it is but mixes it with Theosophy, New Age thought and half-truths. 

I wonder if he realizes that these same 'mystery' religions are still present today and are harming children as well as adults, with cult ritual abuse. The internet is full of stories from survivors for instance:
Dr. Ellen Lacter On Ritual Abuse,Dave Staffen Story,Oral Roberts Link to name a few.

I can only wonder if Professor O has a taste for the supernatural and chooses only to see the positive, romanticized side or is he actually well tutored on the darker side and quite possibly a part of it?

How The IFB Cult Is Similar To Catholocism

When one is within the IFB cult, once the newness of 'fellowship' wears away, you begin to understand that there are certain rules one must always abide by. If these rules are not followed, one is 'not right with God' and you may be dis-fellowshiped (depending on how great the offense.)

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There are many other 'rules', some spoken, some un-spoken. Certain 'rules' will vary even building-to-building.  In my blog today, I want to do a rough comparison between what is called by the Fundy cultists  the Anti-Christ church: the Roman Catholic religion and the Independent Fundamental Baptists.

Now, as a Bible-Believer, non-conformist Christian, my personal attitude is that ANY organized religious group that is denominational, part of the 501c3 non-profit status and cooperative with a wicked government is Anti-Christ. My reasons will be witheld right now because of time and topic. It is sufficient for me to say that I am not playing favorites here, saying one group is better than another.

What I do want to do, is to bring out the similarities of the two aforementioned groups: the Catholics and the Independent Fundamental Baptists. I'll start with the Roman Catholic denomination:

1. The Pope is the 'Vicar of Christ' (he stands in Christ's stead)
2. Tithing is mandatory in order to be in good standing with the Holy Father
3. One should go to Confession faithfully, one should also take part in the Holy Communion afterward
4. You can have friendships outside of the faith, as long as you don't marry outside of the faith
5. Artificial types of birth control are not allowed

Now let's look at the similarities within an IFB denomination:

1. The Pastor is God's man and should never be doubted
2. If you don't tithe, you're not right with God
3. One should always examine himself/herself for sinning before taking the communion (Lord's supper) or else you might be snuffed out by God for being disobedient.
4. No friendships outside of other IFBer's unless your intent is to proselytize
5. Birth control is probably ok in some groups as long as it's not talked about. If you are part of a 'quiverful' church, then NO! You must procreate as soon as possible for as long as possible.

The Fundy's also have some faternal-type meetings:  Men's Prayer Breakfast, Preacher's School, Men's Fellowship. The women have Ladies' Fellowship, and Ladies' Bible-Study. There are dress-codes: dresses below the knee for the females at home and in church, men should wear suits to church and dress shirts and slacks most other times.

Of course, we know that the Catholic Church has many 'societies' and fraternal organizations: Knights of Columbus, Society of Jesus, Club of Rome, etc. Unless you are a nun or priest, a dress-code is not in place usually.

Both have a corporate approach to their church services. Both have business meetings and trustees or their equivalent.

What does this mean? To me, it means that neither one holds to the meaning of what is called a 'Church' in the New Testament. It's like the pot calling the kettle black. The meaning of FAITH is a belief in something or someone without actually having the tangible proof before you, "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. For by it the elders obtained a good report. Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear." 

(Hebrews 11:1-3)

 These cultic groups, take similar stands on so many things and forget the church is NOT a denomination,not a business, not a building but it consists of ALL who have accepted Christ as their Lord and have decided to follow Him. The rule book is the Bible, the work is a show of this faith and the LOVE of God and your neighbor is the most important commandment.

If you truly want to be free it seems, then church dogma is all smoke and mirrors. After all, you are not free if you allow someone from a pulpit to decide your fate. 

"If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed." 

(John 8:36)

Being in the IFB was like a slow strangulation. You don't notice how tight the rope is until it begins to take your breath away. 

I was sold a bill of goods. The goods were corrupt and my mind was full of poison. 

I may not have all the answers...but now I know who to listen to.

Open Letter To FBC


Schaap Gets 12 Years


In Case You Missed This...

Cult Ritual Abuse DOES Exist

Being part of an IFB cult can be hard on one's psyche. There are others though, groups who have joined to educate, console and free the mind from those individuals who have dabbled in mind control or simply have a psychotic need to abuse. I am thankful that they exist. I may not agree with the philosophy of those groups that are mentioned: some may be secular, agnostic, even atheistic. I do not support the belief systems...but I support the important information they share. I hope you will be able to glean some knowledge from these posted links...We Are Survivors Web, .crusade against clergy abuse, Programming In SRA,   Child Trafficking, Abuse Is Worldwide, From A Christian Perspective, Initiation Into Ritual Abuse             

   

Fear=Anxiety=Disorders

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I am no expert on mental health by any means.  I have had to fight against depression and anxiety disorders for most of my life. I am not about to tell you 'what works'...there is no silver bullet. I can tell you though what helps me and share it .

One of the darkest times of my life was when my children were taken away for almost a year (see my early posts for the whole story.) I had never felt so despondent, so uncertain in all my life. I was almost paralyzed at times with fear and depression. Had it not been for my soul-mate keeping me going through those days, who knows how far I would have gone to get away from the pain?

When I came to the end of my rope and had to face the fears I had....(which were many!) I had to be bold and say to myself, "What is truly the worst case scenario in my situation?" I had to allow myself to face the darkness but to face it in REALITY. This was not what I thought could happen, but  realistically, what the judges, DCF workers, cops, etc. could do in our situation. I had to realize that although the chances of my never having custody of my kids again was slim, the chance was there. 

Could I face it? Could I let go of the fear and be open to whatever came to me?
YES! I had a talk with God driving home one night. I said," Lord, I love my kids and want them home but, if it's your will that they will remain away from me, help me to face it and go on. Help me to let go of my fears and allow you to rule in my affairs." I made a conscious effort from that time forward to remember my prayer and fight the demons causing me to think negatively as those hopeless thoughts came up. It was just like visualizing a balloon that symbolized my fears and I let it fly away.

The Lord was gracious. My children were returned and my fears were faced and I was able to let them go.
Am I 100% well? No...I bear emotional scars of a hard life but, I can now count the blessings I have.
Sometimes, you have to cross over that dark, menacing path to get to the sunshine..

Schaap Update

Schaap's Twisted Tale Continues

FBI's Response To The Court Regarding His Jail Sentence

Letting Go Of Guilt

When someone has been abused, it takes time to readjust and learn what 'normalcy' is. Especially if you have been victimized most of your life. 

I now look back and see how I had been blind-sided, yet this also causes me to second guess myself . If my judgement about my past partners was so off, how can I trust myself again?
The hardest thing for an abused man, woman or child is coming to terms with the issue of guilt.
Somehow, it's very easy to blame yourself for stupid things that happened, many of which were not your fault.

For instance, I had been raped when I was 14 years old,  basically still a child. I was trying to find a way home and these seemingly friendly people picked me up and told me they would take me anywhere I wanted to go the next day. They did, but not before I was repeatedly raped in a van in the woods.

I felt scared, (one of the men pulled a knife out and said he'd kill me if I didn't take my clothes off) and afterward confused and ashamed. I never told my parents about it. I was too worried that somehow I would be blamed. It's always easy to blame the runaway-after all, I wasn't being 'good' so I deserved what I got! At least that's how it felt.

I had to try and forgive those that did that to me. I prayed for them as an adult and God was good enough to have mercy on me and stop me from seeing their faces in my mind's eye every day. Of course the scars are still there. It's hard to trust myself and many times those around me.

When thoughts of self-blame and guilt, wash over me, I have to remind myself, I was a kid. Just a dumb, TRUSTING kid. It's all in the past and I should forgive myself.

When I married a man who turned out to be a pedophile, it wasn't what I had seen in him. It wasn't what I had ever expected from a husband or a father. It hurts when people say to me," How could you not know? " Do they really think that a man like that is going to molest your child in front of you?

Again, he was a bad choice. A liar and the worst kind of abuser imaginable because he did his damage incrementally, by breaking you down emotionally and disrespecting the person who you were. In retrospect, I should have slowed down and made better choices but, I never imagined I would have those types of events come upon me. 

I have to try to forgive myself. 
If God has forgiven me, who am I to hold myself in guilt? 
Yes, makes sense but relearning how to be who you are as an individual with choices and ideas, is not an easy task. 

Slowly Coming Into My Own

 There is freedom in dis-associating with a denomination or cult.
I realized this as I was driving away from my home this morning.
I got into some controversy on our Facebook page with a 'pastor' about some doctrinal issues.
He was so terribly bitter ! He resorted to name-calling, rudeness and playing God (he knew who was saved and that I was going to Hell because I disagreed with him.)
A few years ago, when I was an IFB'er, I would have been quite offended!
This morning, I was able to laugh at his obvious frustrations with me. I realized that what I BELIEVED WAS  BETWEEN ME AND THE LORD! I didn't have to defend myself, I didn't have to argue. I could say what was in my heart and not feel threatened or as if I did something 'bad' because I was a woman with a different opinion.

Truly, this was a freeing experience for me.

For the first time EVER, I could decide to say what I thought was the truth or... I could just ignore his bashing.
 It would not have made any difference.
I didn't have to go to someone else to ask if I could write what I wrote. I didn't have to worry about someone pointing a disapproving finger at me.

Sometimes baby steps can take you to far away places where you begin to find yourself...

Rules For Fundies

Rules- I couldn't help myself :)

A Bridge Between Psychology and Faith

My husband and I have been involved with the Family to Family class from NAMI for the past few weeks. NAMI stands for the National Alliance Of Mental Illness. It's an organization that tries to help caregivers as well as the mentally ill tools to recognize, deal with and find treatment for serious mental illness.

It's a pretty comprehensive program. We get a lot of printed information to take home and while in class, we have the ability to ask questions and share knowledge.

This afternoon, John and I were pondering how our faith fits into the whole idea of mental illness and today's culture of medication,psychiatry and psychology.
It's difficult  for me to tell at times what is mental illness vs. demonic activity. It seems as though Jesus healed both:
"And Jesus went about all Galilee, teaching in their synagogues, and preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing all manner of sickness and all manner of disease among the people. And his fame went throughout all Syria: and they brought unto him all sick people that were taken with divers diseases and torments, and those which were possessed with devils, and those which were lunatick, and those that had the palsy; and he healed them. "
(Matthew 4:23-24)

So, is it wrong for a Christian to seek help from another human being or from a doctor whose medication seems to make a great deal of difference in the quality of your life?
I've been blessed, I think. I not only have a Christian counselor but also a Christian Doctor of Internal Medicine. With both of their help, I have been able to quiet my mind and sleep at night. I don't deal as much with paranoid thoughts nor with debilitating depression.

I still pray. I still search God's Word for answers. The difference  is largely biological. Could God heal me without the medication I take and the eclectic approach used by my counselor to help me? I would say yes. Does He sometimes use others as His ministers to minister to one who has spiritual and emotional problems as well? Why not?

Though my counselor is a believer, she counsels many who are not Christians. She knows that I am and we have spent as much time sharing biblical knowledge with one another as we have unlocking my fears.
I think , like anyone else, where and how you seek help has to do with -for lack of a better phrase-your belief system.

I prayed the Lord would guide me to someone who was a Born-again Christian. He answered that prayer.
Maybe for those many people in our class tonight, they have not connected with their faith. Maybe they don't believe in the healing power of prayer. Maybe they only see the psychiatrists, the pills and institutions as the only answers for their loved ones.

I may not be very conventional in my Christian walk: I don't go to church, I try to stay away from the lusts of the flesh...the greediness, the deceptions of mass marketing. I try not to want for more and to be thankful for the things God has allowed me to have.

It's true, my mind is battle-scarred and I sometimes feel overwhelmed and distrustful. I do know the Savior and though I am not sure why I have to go through the depressions and traumatic memories that haunt me, I have not lost faith in knowing that the Lord works all things out for the best.

Thoughts On Communication

I went to my sociology class this evening. We were discussing communication between ourselves and those who we are most intimate with.

It's a subject worth noting. I pondered my own communication skills as the professor gave us examples of what NOT to do. I realized that I never really learned to be an effective communicator with those I love.

I am better in written word. I am better at subjects that are not so personal. In intimacy, with my husband, those that are closest, it can be so difficult. If I am going to open up, in anger or sometimes, sadness...it gets easier. How will I ever be an effective communicator? One who can help steer those who are afflicted? My mouth and my heart have been seared closed because deep down, I don't believe that I deserve to be heard...

When people talk over me, when they ignore me and say in that way that my voice does not count, I am afraid and draw back into my shell.
I have grown used to my own shortcomings. My silences.

My husband, my friend...I try to open up to him. Sometimes though, it's a fearful thing for me. What will he think of me? Will he think I'm crazy?
He has been so patient with me while I try to find my voice. He tries hard to be supportive. He truly is a gift to me.

When you have lived as I have, battling the demons of abuse: emotional, sexual and spiritual...it is so hard to be open. At least it is for me.

I would love to feel respect for myself. To feel that I am of worth. Yet, I remember the messages of the past and the messages attempt to silence me... and usually do.

I read thoughts of others who, like myself have gone running from the chains of abusers. So many have turned away from God's love. So many have become embittered, disillusioned. I feel the pain flowing from their words. They are angry with God and with those who have haunted their nightmares.

I cannot throw away the One who saved me so long ago. Yes, I am confused at times, angry and hurt. I have trouble explaining how I feel. I don't forget how to pray though. I do believe in a Lord who is sharpening me, breaking me, re-building....I know that He knows me inwardly, places that I find so hard to expose. I cling to Him...Jesus....teach me to speak. Teach me to open up so that I can share with others how you have shared with me.

Maybe, it just takes times.