I found a blog today written by a man who extraordinarily enough understood what some abusive churches do to the women in their congregation. It's a good article, please share it:
The Effects Of Spiritual Abuse On Women
Paula Hyles...Maybe 'old news' But Still Relative To The Mess In These Baptist Cults
Part II
David Hyles and family
In my life, it was much the same...I was an accessory. The difference between myself and the Stepford's of the IFB was this: I wasn't raised within the IFB culture. For 26 years of my life, I wasn't taught what I had to believe except that my parents called our family 'Christian.' It was a facade though. Going to church was a holiday event mostly. There was no teaching going on so aside from agreeing that I believed in God, I really had no settled idea of what that was supposed to mean. I went into the whole IFB cultic view with eyes wide open and my mind was hungrily gobbling everything my pastor thought and taught. I had nothing to compare my teachings with, I believed!
Our pastor was not a megalomaniac as my ex-husband later became. He was basically a shy man but knew his Bible well and taught the IFB doctrines impressively. We didn't have a problem between wearing dresses or pants, it wasn't a big deal. I could still wear my Sunday best at church and not be criticized for jeans any other time.
It wasn't until a few years had passed and Mike was pastoring his own congregants that things got crazier and crazier. The rules would change every other week. Hair had to be long on women, short on men, no shorts on either sex ever, no pants on women, men had to dress conservatively, no jewelry on the guys. Later it evolved into not eating pork or shellfish, no work on Sunday and no going out until Sunday service was over.
Mike had developed a following....(I think he wanted to be as popular as Hyles) so he would mingle and sit with others after church during fellowship....I was alone feeling insignificant.I became disillusioned. There were a lot of single, divorced men in our congregation, Some were sex offenders or were living double lives. Those that were married had very one-sided relationships . Women were there to serve, whether it was sex or food it didn't matter. IFB wives were simply accessories to make the IFB husbands look good. We were the faces of the family unit. It's a sick, twisted view of a godly relationship that was to be equal in love and repect toward each other. Somehow, it all became a lie!
The Effects Of Spiritual Abuse On Women
Paula Hyles...Maybe 'old news' But Still Relative To The Mess In These Baptist Cults
Part II
David Hyles and family
In my life, it was much the same...I was an accessory. The difference between myself and the Stepford's of the IFB was this: I wasn't raised within the IFB culture. For 26 years of my life, I wasn't taught what I had to believe except that my parents called our family 'Christian.' It was a facade though. Going to church was a holiday event mostly. There was no teaching going on so aside from agreeing that I believed in God, I really had no settled idea of what that was supposed to mean. I went into the whole IFB cultic view with eyes wide open and my mind was hungrily gobbling everything my pastor thought and taught. I had nothing to compare my teachings with, I believed!
Our pastor was not a megalomaniac as my ex-husband later became. He was basically a shy man but knew his Bible well and taught the IFB doctrines impressively. We didn't have a problem between wearing dresses or pants, it wasn't a big deal. I could still wear my Sunday best at church and not be criticized for jeans any other time.
It wasn't until a few years had passed and Mike was pastoring his own congregants that things got crazier and crazier. The rules would change every other week. Hair had to be long on women, short on men, no shorts on either sex ever, no pants on women, men had to dress conservatively, no jewelry on the guys. Later it evolved into not eating pork or shellfish, no work on Sunday and no going out until Sunday service was over.
Mike had developed a following....(I think he wanted to be as popular as Hyles) so he would mingle and sit with others after church during fellowship....I was alone feeling insignificant.I became disillusioned. There were a lot of single, divorced men in our congregation, Some were sex offenders or were living double lives. Those that were married had very one-sided relationships . Women were there to serve, whether it was sex or food it didn't matter. IFB wives were simply accessories to make the IFB husbands look good. We were the faces of the family unit. It's a sick, twisted view of a godly relationship that was to be equal in love and repect toward each other. Somehow, it all became a lie!
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