More About Denial

Before leaving the IFB cult, I was in a little world all my own. I had to keep rationalizing why I was with this man who didn't seem to care about his family very much. I was desperately trying to see that the glass was half-full and not half-empty. My favorite Bible verse back then was:

Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.
(Php 4:11-13)

A great verse actually but when you lack self-respect and have absolutely no self-esteem, it becomes a mantra to ease your mind so you don't have to think about how bad things really are.

I'm not saying the Bible was wrong here, I still believe in the Word of God. It's the context to which I applied it to that was in error. The context being, no matter how badly your husband disrespects you and drives his children to dishonor him and themselves, stick it out and do it with a smile!

Of course, at the time, I didn't know about the sexual abuse...