Showing posts with label sin. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sin. Show all posts

Monday, September 23, 2013

On the Subject of Repentence

The cowardice and narcissistic approach taken by the twisted man who was once a husband and father to my children, is still something that I have trouble setting aside.

I was at a meeting for people who are in different stages of psychological rehabilitation. Many of the members have stories that are just as awful as mine or sad to say, worse. We are all trying to learn from each other and to speak about the experiences that have so marked us in life. Someone brought up the subject of forgiveness, loving your enemies and showing compassion even if the person who wronged you is unrepentent.

I listen to people that say these things with the knowledge that more than likely, they were never raped or had their children molested. Perhaps, mental abuse was never in their life, so to them, speaking on the subject of forgiveness seems so easy. I am not criticizing....but trying to understand.

Yet there is another side. The Lord himself tells us we must come to Him in repentence in order to be forgiven. We must admit our sinfulness and ask Him for mercy. Then and only then, can the Lord shape us into a useful vessel.

If I am to follow Christ, whether I am willing to forgive someone who abused my children and me, there can be no true change of heart or mind for the offender unless he is made to know and feel the damge he has inflicted. It is because of the offender's indifference, his lack of caring, his fear of being brought out as the guilty one that I cannot yet forgive him. I cannot merely sweep under the rug the awful things he had put my children through. Such an act would be acceptance of the offense and so very unfair to myself and to my children.


No, I do not hate the man....and I don't have to allow bygones to be bygones. 

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Hall Of Horrors

To understand some of the problems linked with the OSAS (Once Saved Always Saved doctrine) is to open a virtual Pandora's Box of evil. The doctrine states that once you accept Christ as Savior, there is virtually NOTHING you can do to 'undo' your salvation. When one is accused of some grave sin, these same pastors who preached this ideology will point a finger and state that the sinner who committed this awful offense could have never been saved to begin with. They will quote certain scriptures to prove their belief yet, they ignore all the scriptures that state the contrary. It is a subtle form of brainwashing that will eventually sink in and gives a feeling of being given 'carte blanche' to do whatever and still make it to Heaven. 

Personally, I always had an undercurrent of unbelief in that doctrine. It just didn't seem right. Yet I taught it, hung on to it and mouthed the precepts I was taught over and over because I was taught not to trust my own instincts. After all, my ex-husband knew better and had to answer to God for me. I didn't want to face God in rebellion. 

It wasn't until I divorced and I began to study God's word for myself, that I saw a different picture of salvation than what was taught to me all those years. 
I also realized something else, the IFB pastors that proclaimed these doctrines were getting caught in a web of deceit. They were caught cheating on their wives, molesting boys and girls, impregnating teen-age girls and stealing from their own people. 

In their minds, these men can just say sorry to God and sweep those sins under the rug and STILL GET TO HEAVEN! I'm sure that was what my ex had in mind. He has yet to apologize to me or to my children. Instead , he pretends to be an honest man on the surface.

The following are some links of a long list of pastor abusers, you may have heard of a few of these:

The Real Jack Hyles

Sodomy and Suicide-The Story of Pastor Jarrell

Jack Schaap-The Molesting Kidnapper

Another Sex/Suicide - Minerva

Pastor and the Prostitute-No he's not IFB but it sure shows the prevalence of sexual sins in the clergy


Murder and Mayhem-Covering Adultery

Beatings and Torture

He Won't Be Resting in Peace


There is more but I can't handle much more tonight. I praise God for showing me the truth. I will be forever thankful!